Star Trek: The Motion Picture

PART IV: CAPTAIN KIRK IS A DICK!

1979. Directed by Robert Wise

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (TMP) comes to your home, kicks open the door, and slaps you in the face! It greets you with cinematic views of fantastic ships soaring through space. It compliments that with beautiful views of space itself, as opposed to the familiar black with yellow dots. Then, it brings on the Klingons! Not the everyday Klingons you know from The Original Series (TOS), oh no! The big bumpy Klingon forehead makes its debut. Then you say TMP, when I watched TOS, those Persian looking guys they called Klingons spoke english, what about these Klingons? Fuck no! They’re speaking Klingon! Okay, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, you’ve made your point. This ain’t my big brother’s Star Trek. I’m excited about these stakes you’ve raised, tell me more.

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An Introduction

PART I: BOLDLY GOING WHERE I HAVE NOT GONE BEFORE

I’m going to just go ahead and assume you already know Star Trek. Rather, you know of Star Trek. Certainly the science-fiction cult phenomenon created by Gene Roddenberry; which first aired in 1966 is hard to ignore. In fact, I’m willing to bet you know exactly who Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock are, and can name the actors who played them. More so, I’ll even bet you can do what someone has called a “pretty good” impression of William Shatner. I’ll even go so far as to say you already know whether you can or can’t make “that V thing” with your hand, don’t you? Yeah, me too.